‘The Working Homemaker’ – by Inder Laleja
I wish to marry a woman who is ‘reasonably ambitious’, he said. This was our first meeting which was arranged through a mediator after consulting both the families.
As anticipated in advance, he was exactly the same I thought of. He wanted to marry a working woman but someone who is ‘reasonably’ ambitious but not completely.
‘A boy from a good family’- the only thing I was looking for in my life partner. He seemed to be a good person from good family which made me nod a ‘yes’ for marriage. I was always high with my ambitions and wished to be independent with a dream to make a big name in society. That zeal to make my family feel proud of me. To my mind, I thought it was ‘reasonable’ enough. After all its an arrange and I can’t ask for more.
Its been an year we were married. Everything was as smooth as we expected. A 9am to 6pm job-A good living-Weekends full of fun-what else?
There came a twist. The not so soon expected discussion to plan a baby. Ofcourse I was reluctant – why shouldn’t I be. I wanted my own time and be mentally prepared for it. But Rohan and her mother thought it was the ‘right time’ and the’right age’ to plan for a baby. The discussion turned into an argument resulting in me agreeing to what my mother-in-law and my husband wanted.
Trust me – Once you plan for a baby, from day one, your priorities change. The person who always kept her work first and foremost, started keeping it last in the list of priority. It was a clash of mind between a would be mother and the ambitious woman inside me who somewhere was trying to hide herself fearing to loose the game to the mother.
Rohan and me were blessed with a baby girl. We named her ‘Hunar’ which means ‘talent’. By then, I already quit my job to take best care of Hunar as my family didn’t agree for a maternity leave which was offered by my company as per the law. Being a mother is special. And no other feeling could he as complete as raising your child and seeing her grow in your arms. But even a working woman can do this in the same way a home maker can. Everything is possible, easily possible.
Hunar turned two last year and it was time for me rethink about my ambitions and career. Inspite of all the reluctance from everyone around, I somehow was able to continue with my job in the same company I was working with. I could manage a good work-life balance. Being at work I always thought was necessary. It helps you keep up the pace with the dynamic society. When you meet new people, you learn a lot from each one of them, sometimes good-sometimes bad. And you choose to impart all those good things you’ve learnt in your kids with a vision to groom them well.
I never say that homemakers are bad but one must understand that a working woman who is ambitious, ‘reasonably’ or completely, is half a homemaker too. I have taken my job as an additionally reaponsibility. I do stand responsible for taking care of all household activities personally/ managing it.
We, the working breed, do contribute to the nation, to the family and to our homes and we do not leave a single stone unturned when it comes to raising our kids in the best way possible.
Rohan still thinks our daughter Hunar needs extra care and attention from me. And I am confident that I am shaping up myself as a perfect example for her which she can look upto when she is grown up. Every evening I return from office I could see her grow mature and polished in her attitude. She is proud of me and I am proud of her.
We named her ‘Hunar’ and I am sure she would live upto the real meaning of her name. I want my daughter to be ambitious – though I don’t know what would reasonable actually mean by her time.
Today, Rohan may have less hot ‘phulkas’. I would ensure that not only ‘Hunar’, but everyone in my family will have a secured future.
#BeingWoman is ‘Ambitious’
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